Thursday, May 28, 2009

Unless you have friends among fish there will still be no air to breathe

Well, it's about that time again. Might as well get this part of the sentence out of the way...

You know what I hate?

Yes, it's another bumper sticker. It seems like I should spend my whole life on the road for how many opinions I have of bumper stickers. But I think a lot of other people share my dislike for this one.

Ichthys - You know what that is? It's THIS STUPID FISH.

Now if you want to flaunt your idea about Darwinism or whatever, fine. Put some stupid legs on it and everyone can clearly see that you don't believe in a Creator. Congratulations. 

Fish, Praying Hands Drenched in Blood, 40 million variations of the Cross - it all amounts to the same thing; "a form of godly devotion" that serves no other purpose but to silently announce whatever 'Christian' faith you've found convenient. 
I'm glad the Society doesn't promote any symbol for our organization. If anything, they discourage the use of any of our symbols so as not to confuse people. I think we all want to put the Watchtower symbol on everything because we are so grateful to Jehovah's organization. When you really think about it, though, it's much better not to advertise the Kingdom that way.

By the way, according to The Interpreter’s Dictionary of the Bible, fish frequently appear in ancient pagan symbolism, often apart from water scenes. “In such cases,” notes this reference work, “it would seem to have symbolic significance, possibly to represent deity, power, fecundity (FERTILITY), etc.” (-Awake!)

Big surprise there...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Don't inhale the microphone Hilda.

First of all, this needs to be taken care of. Some people are seriously hotness-perception impaired.
I shouldn't even have to waste my time clarifying this...

Seriously and obviously.

On to more important issues that are actually worthy of dispute...

You know what I don't like? (Ever notice how 99 percent of my sentences start with that? You love it.) 
I can't stand these 'performers' that sing in that annoying screaming/bellowing sound. This is not impressive to me. 'They've been neglected their whole life and put down and now it's THEIR time to be respected for having an 'amazing voice', despite their 'unconventional' and coy appearance and demeanor. It is physically impossible for these people to sing a straight note. They sing an Alicia Keys song and just bellow out 50 notes in a single time measure going up and down a couple octaves while trying their best to be a growling DIVA that deserves some RESPECT because she has an obnoxiously loud voice. 
I'm sick of it! It's time to be heard! OhhOhoohhooooOooOOoOOOooOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 
Is this the best singers we can find? Any woman can scream and make it sound like singing with modulation. I don't want to hear any more 'undiscovered' people screaming in my ear when I accidentally expect Good Morning America to supply me with some kind of fulfilling entertainment for the day. All women deserve respect. I don't need the shrill 50-note vocal solos as witness to that. It's not talent. I don't care if I can't do it. I can't exhale-whistle either. Should the person who can be put on a stage in Rockefeller Center? 


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Sunburns Hurt

It was an active day in the Preserves.  Check out the pics. If you don't like snakes you may not want to.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Buncha Devil Worshippers

Jehovah's Witnesses abused by neighbour

Dietrich Beatty attacked his neighbours' car and yelled abuse

ANGRY Dietrich Beatty mistook his Christian neighbours for devil worshippers – so he smashed up their car.

Beatty had been drinking when he visited the home of pensioner Gilbert Buttner and began banging on the windows and shouting abuse, before turning his attention to the car parked outside.

Newcastle Magistrates’ Court heard how Beatty, 39, of Briarwood Avenue, Gosforth, was confused about the nature of the religion of Mr Buttner, who is a Jehovah’s Witness, after being misinformed while attending a Christian boarding school.

Lynn Gray, prosecuting, said: “At 8.30pm on Monday, April 13, Mr Buttner heard noise coming from his porch and saw Mr Beatty banging on his window and car, shouting ‘antichrist,’ ‘devil worshipper,’ and ‘my father was a Christian vicar’. Mr Buttner then found a dent in his car.

“Mr Beatty later told police he had consumed so much alcohol that he could not remember damaging the vehicle and that he had held that view about Jehovah’s Witnesses since he was at Christian boarding school.”

Mr Buttner, 67, who was home with his wife Ruth, also 67, and son Jonathan, 28, at the time, said: “I was with my wife and son and he was banging on the window and calling us some terrible things.

“My wife was very ill with shock and had to be taken away in the ambulance to hospital.

“We have lived here for 15 years and have had no problems with the neighbours before this.

“The estimated damage to my car was £435, which has been paid by his family.” Mr Beatty, who has apologised for his behaviour, said: “I was wrong about Jehovah’s Witnesses.

“I have since done some research and I now know that they are Christians and not what I first believed.”

Mr Buttner added: “If he has now learnt more about our faith and no longer thinks these things, then that at least is one positive thing to come out of the situation.”

Susan Clark, chairman of the bench, told Mr Beatty, who admitted religiously-aggravated criminal damage, that she hoped not to see him in court again.

She sentenced him to a 12-month community order.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Nice thought but....

If you look in our newest Awake I think it is, there is an article about some Catholic youth festival where the clergy were urging people to 'spread the good news' and share the gospel with people. I found it funny that there were like 400 Witnesses who talked to the Catholics at their own festival and had a good deal of success.
Also there was a recent article, found here, from a Kansas City newspaper, where a bishop is tired of the violence in his area and wants to start an evangelizing work to 'bring gangbangers to God.' He said that the local congregations and their pastors were "scaredy cats" who are afraid to confront the seemingly violent people. He challenged them to join him in an "evangelism invasion." Here's the interesting part. I quote:

“Jehovah’s Witnesses are out there every Saturday going door to door. They don’t care how many doors are slammed in their faces. We have to reach out.”

It's funny that as religion declines, the churches are trying to stir up zeal for one of the most difficult things for a Christian to do, that of preaching to strangers. Only the organization with Jehovah's backing and spirit could ever accomplish that, especially worldwide.
We continue to grow, they continue to dwindle. Religion is failing mankind and people are realizing it. It's a shame that we get lumped into that group sometimes. Satan uses the propaganda to his advantage. Anyways, I won't go on and on about this. Just thought that was an interesting quote.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Such a pretty house and such a pretty garden

Cool newspaper article about one of our conventions. Well written and not biased.
I love the brother's response to our 'brain-washing'. I'm totally using that.

Cheeseburger Yogurt for Men

1. Pajama pants are not acceptable attire for women anywhere but at home. I hate when girls wear nasty printed pajama pants in public. The point of females is to be the better looking gender. Wearing your baggy thin pajama pants to the store, even if it's Walmart, disqualifies you from even being considered.

2. Why? Why is that every stupid yogurt commercial has to lend to the same group of individuals? Imagine this scene: A strong-minded 30's-something single woman who you would also find in a feminine products commercial complaining about bloating is laying belly down on her bed pining over the only thing in the world that could make a life, full of 'men that just can't handle an independant woman' and a job that they are too proud of, worth it. 

A yogurt.

'Not only does it lower my risk for breast cancer by 240%, according to a recent study, but it also tastes like a dessert and allows me to make healthy food choices for the rest of my life! I can just sit on my bed, roll around gleefully, and be in love with the only thing in the world I can depend on...

my yogurt.'

I want to see a commercial that lends to the 30's something bachelor male population. But maybe for pudding. Just see a guy gettin up in the middle of the night in his underwear, he goes into the fridge, pushes aside the carton of rotten milk and finds a chocolate pudding. He opens the silverware drawer and finds not one clean spoon and after considering how he might be able to eat pudding with a butter knife, he just goes at it with his mouth. He takes a quick drink of water and goes back to bed with a little chocolate on his face. A happy man.
Now that's a commercial. That's reality. That's not


Monday, April 27, 2009

Vaca Pics

Not a whole lot of them because I didn't have my camera but there's a few. Check em out on my Flickr.

Saturday, April 25, 2009



Pictures in not too long.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Film in her eyes from the glow

There was not a few stories in local newspapers around the country about our Memorial. Here's one of them that I thought was pretty cool.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Boss isn't IN it...the Boss IS IT.

I've switched over to Flickr for hosting images. 


Thursday, April 2, 2009

I have spoken

Ok. Girls are no longer allowed to wear bell bottoms or any pants that flare whatsoever at the bottom. It's not attractive. It's early 2000's at least. It was fine for a couple years and I'm sure all the adults enjoyed commenting how every style comes back eventually, but it's over. They're ugly. 

I would actually prefer skemo jeans to them. (skinny emo jeans) 

Now the 80's are in, boys and girls. Either wear hot pink or purple colored shirts from Hot Topic or jeans that are so tight they eventually just meld into your skin. 
Hair for girls consist of anything from the typical bang-over-brow emo cut to the look of the Flock of Seagulls-obsessed airline rep from Wedding Singer. 
Guys don't cut their hair. They either spend most their day straightening, conditioning, and coloring it so that they can flick it back off their face everytime they have a thought, or they go the dirty skateboarder route which requires you not wash it for a period of years and allow the sweat and dead skin from your dirty pillow accumulate to form a film that allows an emulation of the Kurt Cobain look. This is your generation guys. 

Anyways, no more bell bottoms. If I see anyone I know wearing them, I'm gonna turn them into capris real fast.

Also, many new pics on the Picasa.

Monday, March 30, 2009


I am seriously tired of that stupid comment. 
According to a recent study, wild blue jays with rabies plummeting into minivan windshields are the leading cause of death among Americans. Give me a break. Anyone can do a study on anything and come out with any result that benefits the company that pays them the most. Bogus. I'm tired of hearing that eating an obscene amount of some stupid fruit or vegatable will lower the risk of (insert scary disease here) by 10%.  And coffee will lower your bla bla bla if you drink 10oz a day, but at 12oz a day you increase your risk of developing [body part] cancer after age 50. I'm tired of hearing that chocolate can kill you but can also cure certain types of cancer if you eat 90% cocao chocolate. WHICH IS NOT CHOCOLATE BY THE WAY. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH ESTROGEN YOU HAVE AND HOW GOOD YOU THINK IT IS, IT'S NOT CHOCOLATE IF IT TASTES LIKE BLACK SOAP.

Anyways, back to my point, everything is the leading cause of everything among everyone. Studies are for selling something and I don't buy it.

According to a recent study done in my basement, cars with Roxy stickers are the leading cause of hot chics in South Florida.


Monday, March 23, 2009


I took off the post about the Pope's comments regarding "geopolitics" and his view of Jehovah's Witnesses. Lately I've found it really entertaining to look at some of these religious publications. Mainly it's to look at how stupid they are and to confirm within myself how great our organization is. And to satisfy my curiousity about some of the other religions and what they teach. But I've recently come to the realization of how dangerous it can really be to even look at it humorously with a view to finding errors. I don't need to know what other religions teach. I know that even if some of them get some stuff right or seem harmless, it's poison. Satan makes himself into an angel of light and his demons transform themselves into "ministers of righteousness." I always thought of Apostate as a term that meant someone who was in the truth and fell away and is now "Anti-Watchtower" or anti-whatever they failed at. But in reality, these false religions have all sprung up from the original apostasy of the Catholic Church. They have a few different doctrines and some take a stab at interpreting Scripture more than others, "But their end shall be according to their works." No other organization on earth produces the type of people that Jehovah's organization does. There's practically endless proof of Jehovah's backing for us and I am personally resolving to never feel the need to 'prove' that in any way by false religious propaganda, designed to "carry YOU off as his prey through the philosophy and empty deception according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary things of the world and not according to Christ."

Lesson learned :)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Morbid Children's Song and The Change Dilemma

1. Who remembers the song...

Gobs and gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little tiny Birdie Feet
French fried Eye Balls dipped in kerosene
I forgot my (add cutlery of choice)

That's not morbid for a child to sing at all.

2. Have you ever noticed when you drop some change you have a decision to face? Depending on whether you dropped a quarter or not, it's not an easy decision to make. I think that every single person who drops a quarter will pick it up. That's 1/4 of a dollar! But when you drop a couple pennies or a dime or a nickel, the effort it takes to bend down all the way to the ground and then somehow use your lack of fingernail to shimmy it up into your fingers hardly seems worth it. Not to mention if people are around you. Here you are stopping and spending upwards of 10 seconds to pick up a few cents like a hobo. (I'm not insensitive to the homeless. I am very sad for them.)
I think the least amount of money I will bend down for is 10 cents. If it's under that then it's for the little kids to seize over when they see it shining on the ground. If it's a dollar bill, probably even a single, I would ride a unicycle on the rail of a bridge over the highway to get it. There's something very precious about paper money. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

2 Things

1. Today we had the conversation out in service about whether or not you pronounce pecan like this: pe-CAN or pe-CON. Though I'm quite positive I'm as right as I always am, I figured I would see what everyone else thinks. I'm gonna put a poll up in a minute.

2. I just saw a BOAR in the wild. It was huge. The size of a St Bernard dog, but all black. I thought it was a black bear before I could see its body. It was huge and it was loud and it was FAST. I tried to get a picture or video but once it saw me it flew away. SO RAW.

3. I lied. Last thing. New pictures on my Picasa.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Not in my blood

Here's a few drawings my friend Sky from Portland did with charcoal. It makes me really happy that people can paint amazing pictures with pieces of flipping ASH or whatever and I can't even draw with a PEN. My human faces look like Picasso's, but not on purpose. Whatever. To each his own.

Your southern can is mine

This is why The White Stripes are awesome.
Two people...listen to the live performance...

They don't have a bassist because they dont need a bassist Garrett! They sound a lot better than most 4-5 person bands. ~cough~ My Chem ~cough~

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Just living proof that the camera is lying...

1. Dry Ice bombs don't work. (if I make them)

2. I love walking around in forests and trails.

3. 3 is my favorite number. Always has been.

4. I had a dream last night that I was flying out of Atlanta to Alaska and I got caught in the engine of the plane before I got in. Then some guy came and got me out of the water and he's like "Consider yourself saved." A little arrogant, I think. Also an argument with Garrett and others about the Florida Gators team while in a men's bathroom. 

5. New picures on my Picasa. Here's one of them

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Trees will make a forest. Trees will make a boat.

I woke up at about quarter to 6 this morning to turn off my light and then I couldn't go back to sleep...I never turn off my stupid bedroom light because I always RF at night. RF? It's Read to Fail. You read until you're so tired you are reading the same thing over and over again and not at all knowing what it's about. I read until I am so tired and sitting up in my bed and turning off the light is nowhere near worth it. I can sleep easily with the light on. So anyways, I couldn't go back to sleep this morning. I turned on the TV and nothing good was on, obviously. A lot of infomercials and Family Matters, one of my least favorite Nick at Night shows. So I decided to get up and go to this little lake by my house that's kinda hidden from the busy streets. I got some coffee and brought my WT. The point of the story is I took a couple pictures. Look at them. Envy me.